#productive#

I couldn't ask for more. I felt great in my spirit, soul and body. I had a laundry list of things I needed to do before Friday and I was starting to feel overwhelmed. Walking home I felt accomplished for completing major tasks before their deadlines and more so because of newfound understanding. I sang songs, some made up, down the streets in my skirt, spring jacket freezing on this cold winter night; it was picture perfect until...

Let me first explain the revelation and then I will get into the "until"
The girls I was closest to (He Jen Jen, Ma Li, An Jing) while I lived in China accepted my proposal to start a book club. I gave them reign to select a book with minimal input. The book chosen was "The Hole in Our Gospel" by Richard Stearns. I had never heard of it but once they sent the email, I ordered the book which arrived yesterday. It seeks to answer the simple yet complicated question "What does God expect of us?" It invites you to find out the answer that changed the author's life while possibly changing yours. The reason I like the book even with only being on the first chapter is that I always felt that something was missing from our declaration as Christians. It seemed at times to reflect powerless people who only focused on a personal relationship with God and had no affect on the public. The way I envisioned it was "Newsflash: War in Iraq ... breaking news, nevermind, the Church saves the day AGAIN". While this may seem idealistic, why can't it be a reality? I am sure the book will delve into these issues.

Like I was saying, I was having a great day until...
A black range rover slowly rolls across the other side of the street before the light changes to red. I waited for the walk sign and the driver pulls over on the side of the curb. I cross the street, walk past the car and continue singing my songs. The car passes me, slows down and the driver beckons for my attention and politely asks me to wait so that he could "speak to me for a few minutes". He double parks with the engine still running and catches up to me. He was extremely polite and respectful and I returned the courtesy. Then he invited me out for dinner and drinks, I didn't have a reason to say yes and I didn't have a reason to say no. So I said "no" very indirectly. He asked me to wait as I proceeded to walk away and he handed me a business card and asked me to give him a call if I changed my mind. This was a test and I failed it miserably. I was just saying how I am going to broaden my circle of inclusion, not try to place people in buckets/grids/categories as soon as I meet them and just allow myself to know people without having to define what it is or isn't and I didn't. What a jerk I was to him! I am going to have to fix this, aren't I? Fine, I will.