Friday, April 13, 2012

Truths about forgiveness

1. Forgiveness does not destroy your memory
Play. Stop. Rewind. Stop! I remember the unshakeable feeling of questioning myself "did I really forgive him?" I was dating a guy, we had a disagreement, we discussed it, I was over it BUT I kept replaying the conversation in my mind. In my heart, I truly "released him" of any restitution or consequences. I am whole, capable and intelligent. My point is I should not suffer from memory loss, its ok to remember but what do you do with that memory? Keep it in the past...
2. Forgiveness does not remove all the consequences of wrongdoing
I have the option to forgive someone for their mishaps and to release them from consequences, thats a personal choice. But lets be practical, if there is a natural course that is already set, the consequences cant be reversed. Example: two people are driving down the highway. An hour later they realize and turn around. Neither party is angry so there is no argument or need to forgive BUT the consequence of losing time, gas, energy, etc wont be reversed.
3. Forgiveness does not rebuild trust
A few years ago, a friend hurt me really bad. Eventually, I forgave her but she did not automatically regain the same position or status she held in my life. It was a valuable learning experience, I learned my lesson.
4. Forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation
You can truly forgive someone and decide not to keep them in your life. If a friendship is poisonous or unhealthy, stay out of it. Learn to love from a distance, pray for them too but don't get burned again because you didn't learn the first 5 times.

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