Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My sister Ladika

Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~Eustache Deschamps

For as long as I can remember, I have always approached relationships with two uncommon philosophies:
1. Trust until you have a reason NOT to trust
2. Love beyond words and without fear

Most people start a relationship with someone and the trust meter is set at 0%. The other party has to show that they deserve the trust and build on the relationship. This makes sense because the person needs to show that they are worthy of your trust. I do the very opposite. I start with the trust meter at 100% because while I have a reason to trust them, I also don’t have any reason NOT to trust them. I am a very open person and I welcome people into my lives until they prove to me that I made the wrong decision. As I am wronged, this level of trust deteriorates and it is a lot harder to build up.

Perfect LOVE casts out all fear
A common fear in relationships is that you will be hurt if you don’t build up walls to protect yourself. I often hear people giving advice saying “if you treat someone nicely, or if you get too emotionally attached/ vulnerable, you will be hurt or taken advantage of.” I beg to differ! Relationships are supposed to be bridges and mirrors.
Bridges because they should provide passage over obstacles and help you get to the next stage of your life.Mirrors because they reflect the person you are (if the truth is told in love) and will help you to develop and reach your fullest potential in life.

If two people truly care about each other, they will keep each other accountable, encourage one another and build on a friendship based on a foundation of love, transparency and honesty. I have this kind of friendship and it is a great feeling. My most recent experience with this level of friendship is with Ladika. She came to my job and surprised me once again with her thoughtfulness. She is so similar to me, it’s almost as if we share the same brain! Yesterday, She sent me a text message, I read it and responded to her thinking that she said something else, after I responded she clarified that she meant exactly what I responded to!

Ladi and I met in Baruch College while pursuing our Bachelor’s degree in Corporate Communication. We met in a French class and later pledged the same sorority.Now we are inseparable! We talk all the time, share secrets, help each other with major decisions, go on vacations together and more.

In our friendship, we focus on giving the advantage instead of taking advantage and that is one of the keys to a healthy friendship. We try to outdo each other, instead of always being on the receiving end, we find ways to surpass and outshine the other! We are not the kind of people who always lets the other one pick up the bill; settle on going dutch (splitting)- we fight over who gets to pay! We don’t wait for specific seasons or holidays to celebrate each other, we give cards and gifts to each other “just because”.

La La, I love you!

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