I realized that over the past few days, people I care about have been failing me alot.
The first thing I thought I needed to do is evaluate my relationships. The part that bothered me the most is that I rarely ask people for assistance and in the last few instances, the favors were so minute. I immediately pondered on the repurcussions of a larger request. I thought to myself "I am tired of this"...no I was not tired, I was hurt. Then I thought, maybe I just have high expectations of people, its not that they dont have the ability, desire or potential to execute, it is just that I have been putting my trust in and relying on people, instead of God. There has to be a balance. In the past, I would never ask people for help and then I realized it was pride disguised as a desire to not inconvenience people.
Bitterness almost set in as I thought to myself "I would do anything for him/her, how could they disregard me like this?" Ive decided that my business is not how people treat me, thats between them/their conscience and God. My business is how I treat them. I will continue to walk in love and honor. I am not trying to be holy for God, this is for me, so that my heart wont condemn me.
I also realized that the first time someone failed me that week I said "people keep failing me", that is a negative confession and has manifested into a self fulfilling prophecy. I shouldnt be surprised when it happened again, I called that into my life!
OK back on track. Jesus, thanks for revealing that to me.