Sunday, November 13, 2011

The mind is a terrible thing to waste pt 2

(Blogged immediately after episode took place... Real time)

It is a huge blessing to have long lasting friendships. At my tender age in preparatory school, I didn't realize that friends were a free gift from God that we had the responsibility of maintaining. In lieu of this knowledge, we did a great job of preserving it, over two decades strong!

Granted, there were times when the business of life would separate us for a while but like a drug addict, we would feel the withdrawal and reach out for another "fix."

There was one long period of time when we didn't speak but after missing my friend, I reached out only to find out the whole thing was a misunderstanding! "Well I thought I thought you!" What a waste in an effort to be magnanimous! We missed out on so many great moments in each other's life.

A trait of the relationship I love the most is the honesty. There was a transparency that allowed us to say anything that had to be said. Sometimes it was something we didn't want to hear but we know it was said in love.

This time was a little different. During this time we epitomized Charles Dickens' famous line "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Our friendship literally felt like a blessing and a curse as it shifted off the firm foundation it was built on and somehow found itself in the theme park of life, first on a rollercoaster. The highs were high, but it would literally be seconds later that we faced the lowest lows. As if we were distressed with a bipolar condition, we would walk away from our banana boat experience hand in hand then to a teacup followed by a free fall. The last fall was critical, the words spoken "at me" were so hurtful that I just stood there waiting for an adjustment on the statement and when nothing was offered, I gathered up the fragments of my soul and proceeded to leave.

I cried several times while we fought, but at the end of the night when the words pierced my soul, I asked two of my nieces to help me get into my very elaborate black and red gown as I stood on the stage of life awaiting my exit music, once again the tears streamed down my face. Who said words could never hurt you? Startled that I was starting to cry when I thought I was already crying, I opened my eyes and realized (thankful that this ended with the words Biggie Smalls started a famous track) "it was all a dream!"

The mind is so powerful, the intensity of the dream forced real tears from my eyes! I am still crying even now when I know it was only a dream, is it though? It's 6:30 am, time to start the real day.

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