Timelessness of time

Wisdom is timeless, I often surprise myself at how my thoughts towards a particular subject change over time. Anyone who knows me really well would categorize me as a hopeless romantic, love conquers all, love is the foundation. I love "chick flicks",I am nostalgic and I believe that love is the answer for everything.

From a non bitter perspective I can honestly say that love is not a good enough reason to get married. I am sure you think I am going to list must have qualities like trust, honesty/transparent communication, purpose and similar goals as recipes for marital success.Far from my thought process...

Marriage is a contract, to sound less harsh, lets call it a covenant. It starts in the church and sadly, ends in court. The institution of marriage was not designed to trigger butterflies in the stomach or speed up your heart beat. Marriage is a covenant designed to enhance and enrich people's lives. Lets put away the little love goosebumps and think logically.

You want to start a graphic design business but you know you lack the accounting skills to keep the finances in order. Your best friend whom you love dearly is more of a creative asset, not someone you would trust with your bookkeeping. As a result, you start your partnership with someone who has the skills you are lacking and you hone in on the creative design. The company hits the ground running and becomes a success.

You dont love your friend any less, you just know that it is in your best interest to find someone who upgrades, benefits and adds value to your business relationship. Marriage should be no different. I bet you will think differently about arranged marriages now. The majority of Hollywood marries for love and within weeks, divorce. What happened to the all conquering love? They say nothing lasts forever, what makes love the exception? Think about it....

Is this the thought of a cynic or is it just merely truth too hard to swallow?

When I say love, I am referring to a fleeting feeling based on circumstances, not a decision to love, action or God. Now to you my friend who may be concerned by this blog, allow me to renumerate a few things that havent changed:

* I am still in love with love and want to be loved and intend to love and will get married to someone I love. Its just that the priority is a bit lower
* As a follower of Christ, I still believe that love is the most powerful force on earth. We just need to accept that love doesnt play bills, increase your quality/standard of life or build your alliance
* I still get excited and emotional when I enter Grand Central Terminal, Central Park and Brooklyn Bridge!

* I still love you *

Balance is the key to life

There are certain words associated with Christianity and most often, they do not include strong, bold or fearless.
As a Christian, I often have to remind myself that being a Christian does not mean that you allow people to take advantage of you or treat you in a way you would never treat yourself. It does however mean that you forgive people for their faults and offences against you. Lets be clear, that does NOT mean that you have to keep them in your inner circle and give them more opportunities to hurt or offend you. You can love from a distance.
While this may come as a shock to many who perceive me as a social butterfly, I  have been flirting with the concept of friendship as a luxury not a necessity. I am blessed to have some of the most amazing friends, I will not deny that. Nevertheless,I am learning to understand that I need to explore the concept of permanent interests not permanent relationships.

India: Thiruvananthapuram (Trivandrum) to Delhi

Ladi and I woke up at 3:15am to make our 6:05am flight. Our taxi driver was racing the streets like he owned it and though we were running late, he managed to get us to the airport on time. The only issue was that it was the wrong airport. I asked Ladi to stay in the taxi while I checked our flight details. Our flight info stated that we were flying out of Trivandrum International but we should have actually been in the domestic airport!

Ten minutes later we raced over to the domestic airport and confirmed that we were in the right airport. At this time its 535am, our flight is boarding so we race to the check in counter

Ro: I am so sorry we are late, we went to the wrong airport. Sorry
Attendant: Miss, I'm sorry the counter is closed

My eyes grew bigger in shock/despair
Attendant (laughs) : Please put your luggage here

Not funny! I started laughing eventually, run to the security gate, five people ahead of us, as soon as we exit, we are at the boarding gate.

A few rows in, we find our seats and I say to Ladi, these people better hurry up, we have been waiting!

India: Delhi ~ Day One

Ladi and I checked in the hotel, that was very seamless. We ordered delicious biryani and aloo gobi (potato and cauliflower).

Time to go sightseeing

India ~ Repost "I Saw The Real India!"

Ten months later, I saw the real India lol, read post from Sooraj's blog

"I Saw The Real India!"

Dedicated to a friend, who insisted

Perhaps it is borne out of the need to see something very different from their own surroundings and the world they grew up in, but whatever the reason, many travellers use the word "real" to denote something negative - like poverty or corruption. Some travellers aren't satisfied that they have seen the "real" people until they have seen someone dying of hunger. Maybe I should not read too much into this, because when we say that we have seen the "real" face of a person, more often than not, it means we have seen their less than good side. But I still cannot shake off my belief that the word "real", in connection with travel, has been blatantly misused. Why should you go to a one room mud hut to meet a "real" person? What about the rest of the people? I concede that sometimes a tourist is so insulated by the machinations designed by the tourism industry for the comfort, and exploitation, of its guests, that they often come away with a very different perspective of the daily realities of the natives. But it has been my long standing view that true understanding of "real" can never be achieved without using true scales and measures whatever be the experiences you have - insulated or otherwise. I believe understanding comes from within. Here, allow me to quote The Doors, "People are strange when you're a stranger". As I'd mentioned before we will always judge others using our own standards not theirs. Wherever we go, our sense of reality is determined by the yardstick that we carry within ourselves at all times. "Real" is all around you - you just have to see it.
Oh, let me just come to the point. Don't come up to me and tell me that you want to see the real India unless you have a very good answer to, "Oh, so you think I am a fake Indian from fake India?"

Where did Friday go?

Left London Thursday November 8th at 10:35 for an 8 hour flight to Mumbai. Arrived at 110am on Saturday, what happened to Friday? I missed it

Spa Bliss

Ladi and I took a break from the hustle and bustle and signed up for a spa package including mani, pedi, facial and massage.

India ~ same same

In Thailand, I would ask questions to compare information and the answer would usually be "same same". As Ladika and I drove through the city looking for saris, she asked about the quality of the outfits of one location compared to another, the driver advised "same same"
Was that a means of advising that the quality is similar or simply a way to divert from the original question?

India~ Mumbai ~ Vaguely familiar

Even though this is my first time in Mumbai, it seems vaguely familiar. There were parts of East Santa Cruz that reminded me of Downtown Kingston, specifically Papene. While I could not understand any of the non English signs, the city still rendered a feeling of "home"

Plans~ a false sense of security

I left work promptly at 4pm, caught the 4:05pm LIRR to Jamaica and walked into terminal 4 literally the same time as Ladika. Perfect timing or what? Not only were we early but there were only 2 people ahead of us on the queue!

We checked it, received our boarding passes and were advised that despite the snow storm, our flight was scheduled to leave on time at 720pm! Perfect!!! Right?

At 720pm our plane was still in Washington DC because JFK was closed to incoming flights, of course flights were allowed to leave, but there were no Virgin Atlantic planes!

At 9pm,we were still hopeful because we had a three hour layover in London before our 1035 flight to Mumbai. At 12:20am, not so much. We boarded in a very chaotic manner close to 1am.

Our flight arrived around 2PM the following day, clearly we missed our flight. After approaching the Virgin Atlantic counter, an older gentleman informed us to step aside and wait on another line because we missed the flight and its only one flight per day.

While plans may make you feel secure for a certain amount of time, there is so much uncertainty that you just need to do your best to be proactive and then deal with everything else that comes. Who could have predicted a snow storm a week after a hurricane on a random day in November?

The result: accommodated in a very nice hotel in London with dinner, hotel/airport transfer and cheap wifi included.

Tomorrow Ladika and I will go to the airport and figure out everything else.

Be careful what you wish for

Moving from Jamaica to NY produced moments of culture shock. I was so surprised that strangers didnt talk to each other, I mean I know mommy told you "not to talk to strangers" but now you are old enough to make discernments, talk to them!


I sat on the train reading my Kindle and the following conversation occurred:
Random boy: yo miss, excuse me
{Ro delays but eventually looks at boy}
Random boy: Can you sing?
Ro shakes head to motion "no" in an attempt to quickly end the conversation
Random boy: Do you go to CCC?
Ro shakes head no, I have visited CCC (a large church in Brooklyn but not in several years and never participated actively)
Random boy: Do you live in Brooklyn?
Ro shakes head yes
Conversation dies down...

Random boy: yo miss, you sure you don't sing? Have you been in a music video?
Ro: no
Random boy: I know you from somewhere
Ro: I have a familiar face

As the train pulls into my station, I am relieved and exit as fast as I can without making it obvious. He exits too.

Random boy: you are very beautiful
Ro: thank you so much {genuinely}, have a nice day

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. (Mark Twain)

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. 
Bill Cosby 

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. We must do that which we think we cannot. Then you are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' 

Eleanor Roosevelt 
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Jim Morrison 

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Nelson Mandela 

*Ro Intl, Est 1985*

Worry

Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened"

“There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.” —Mahatma Gandhi
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I think, therefore I am

Whenever someone asks me my sign, I would respond "the cross". I know I am being facetious because I knew they really meant my astrological sign. I don't like telling people my sign because it leads them to make rash generalizations about me without getting to know me. My sister, Melanie is heavily interested in astrology. 

I was listening to a message from Pastor Bill Winston and he commented that astrology is stated all over the Bible from Mary - the virgin (Virgo) to Leo the Lion, etc. This piqued my interest. In my Google search bar, I entered biblical astrology - while I still think a lot of the information is overly vague, I found some of the following very interesting. 

• Gemini Motto: "I think, therefore I am."
• Gemini Careers: Communication (all means), information, inquiry, journalism, linguists, language, literature, broadcasting, writing, manuscripts, novelists, speaking, radio, engineers, television, publishing, printing, transportation, reporting, telephones, stories, office machines, post offices, river transportation, telegrams, telegraphs, telephones, trains, commercial travelers, travel agents, local travel, truck drivers, typewriters, wireless, writers, stenographers
• Gemini Character Traits: Intelligence, intellect, expressiveness, eloquence, trickiness, idealism, studious, inquiring mind, ambition, resourcefulness, dexterity, tolerance, courage, generosity, sympathy, temperance, liberalism, versatile, changeable
• 
  
• 
  
  GEMINI MONEY: Gemini's are the wheeler-dealers of the zodiac because they are the chameleon's of the zodiac. They thrive on excitement, change, variety and happen to be very cunning and crafty in order to get what they want or to make a sale. They make excellent sales people. When Gemini is placed in the middle of a party, they are looking for an opportunity within all of those personalities. Those at the party are not just people, they are contacts! Gemini is not only two people in one, they have the ability to morph into whatever they need to be in order to seize the opportunity. This comes in quite handy when creating money. By the way, Gemini's will definitely push the envelope to success and rarely will you see them cross the not-so-cool line.
  When it comes to handling money, they certainly live up to the youthness of their sign. They rarely worry about where their next dollar will originate. This optimistic and charismatic personality will certainly lead to something Good and they thrive on that way of thinking. It has to be Good. Rarely will you hear about a Gemini balancing their checkbook. Isn't that was ATM's are for . . to check your bank balance? Gemini has to have spontaneity and change in their Life, which is why you will rarely see a Gemini retire from a job that they were at after 20 years. Showing them your retirement plaque after 20 years will make them shutter and they will reall be thinking, "Thank God I didn't do that!" If Gemini is bored with their job, you can definitely count on them leaving for something better. And it will be better.
  If anyone can find a way to create more money, it is a Gemini. They have so many money making schemes up their sleeve that they are never out of Good ideas because they never plan to go without. Money is only necessary to get them to the place that they desire to be. They will work hard for their money because it will buy them a plane ticket to fun and adventure. Money is necessary for them to play. Gemini's are excited about the financial journey and not necessary the money itself. Gemini's are looking for financial freedom . . and their freedom means everything to them. Money is simply a means to an end.
  Many Gemini's are entrepreneurs because clocking into a regular job will just wear them out mentally. Gemini needs freedom and flexibility in their job because they know that they can count on themselves to provide what they need. Being limited by someone else telling them how much money they can make (a paycheck) does not rhyme with their spirit. Gemini needs unlimited possibility in their job. This is why jobs that are freelance or a job with commission will work well for them. It's all about flexibility. Gemini always has an ace up their sleeve and can always make more money in a pinch.

Wisdom

Wisdom, if personified, would be a woman with a camouflaged veil.
She is omnipresent and she dwells within everyone. The wise constantly recognize her omnipresence as her veil is removed to them. But she is hidden to the unwise, and only revealed once their decisions have been made.

~ Linda

Hurricane Sandy

This post will not be about the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, I think we had enough media coverage.

I do want to thank all my loved ones for checking on me, offering support. Thankfully, I was not affected by the hurricane. I did not lose electricity, there were no downed trees in my area, no cases of flooding or any other issues.

Thanks to all!

You speak in punch lines

Linda: "You always have these philosophical sayings"

Ro: [laughs]

Linda: "Actually, you speak in punch lines"

Dating, Marriage, Sex (and everything in between)

Esther and I attended a panel discussion at Brooklyn Tabernacle, the topic was Dating, Marriage, Sex (and everything in between). Here are some highlights on Christian dating:

What girls wished guys knew about dating....

1. Prioritize communication over romance ~ focus on deep meaningful communication, ask questions to get to know us, find out what makes us happy, angry, sad ~ that is real romance
2. We want to be your girlfriend, not your mother ~ be a leader - be worth following; make plans sometimes
3. Don't be a "playa" ~ guard our hearts, don't drag out a relationship that isn't going anywhere, be honest and open, don't mislead us
4. Stay away from excess physical pursuits ~ strength is in controlling your emotions, not muscles; your ability to restrain yourself makes us feel honored and valued
5. Attractiveness = character and authenticity ~that's sexyWhat girls wished men knew about dating...

What guys wished girls knew about dating....

1. Appreciate our battle against lust ~ don't make it harder, carry yourself like a lady and stick to your standards and boundaries
2. Don't smother us 24/7  ~ we need our space, if you want to spend every moment with us, it makes you seem clingy, controlling, emotionally needy and makes us feel trapped
3. Let me be the leader ~ express your opinions, don't be a puppet, be a woman and help with the decisions but let me be the ultimate leader
4. I would pursue you but you need to stop chasing me ~ you are viewed as easy and desperate  
5. Find your security in Christ, not in us ~ it is flattering to make us the center of your universe but eventually it becomes a turn off ~ be on fire for God, we don't want to be god in your life

Biblical Purpose for Marriage ~ the original design

1. Mutually complete each other ~ you can't do apart but you were intended to do together
2. Multiply a godly legacy ~ pass on faith to the next generation
3. Mirror God's image ~ be a reflection of God's love (commitment, forgiveness, love, long-suffering)

Steps to prepare for marriage

1. Turn desire into development ~ become the person you desire to be with
2. Serve in ministry ~ learn how to serve and put someone else's needs above your own, practice submission and be Kingdom minded
3. Get around some wise married people ~ ask questions
4. Don't sleep with someone who is not your spouse ~ this causes an unhealthy attachment  

READY - SET- GO

Ready

1. Develop my convictions or I'll live by default not design. Make decisions based on things that will benefit me and on purity, not on emotions.
2. Not ALL the time is a good time for a relationship. Get to know myself and God first. Honor old relationships and don't flaunt new relationships ~ the old partner may still be hurting

Set

1. Determine "what is important to me"
2. Set standards and stick to them
3. Set yourself in a position to receive wisdom
4. Set your private life in public view of a trusted select few 

Go

1. Keep up with God ~ more action, more belief
2. Set the past aside so the future can reside
3. Don't rush a relationship, it may lead to regret, don't awaken love before it desires

Don't go to God with your preferences but with an open and willing heart asking Him to reveal secrets and be sensitive to Him. God is a God of redemption and reconciliation.

Roxanne is in town!

Roxy came up to New York for a few days so of course we took advantage of the opportunity and met up. We met up with her hubby at their hotel, caught up and then headed over to one of our favorite places  ~ Nirvana Indian Restaurant.

There you are

Not sure why I like this message so much, it was a commercial I was waiting to skip before watching a Youtube clip, but the voice captured me (reminded me of intro to Inception). Nope, has nothing to do with Brad

It's not a journey, every journey ends, but we go on.

The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear. Dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. 

My luck, my fate, my fortune.